ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
