Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
