We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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