i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
