Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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