Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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