I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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