Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
