It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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