Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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