I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
soo... how was my night?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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