At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
two words...techno handjob
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
