ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
