my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I believe in your delicious
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
we're so committed to being not committed
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