It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
