I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just puked most of my soul out..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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