Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
