i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
