Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
