I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
