my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
