I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
