I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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