there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
