She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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