I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
