everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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