yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
