a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
