I got chris browned last night
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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