Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
