Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
