That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
