I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
