Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
