Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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