Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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