So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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