"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
