She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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