I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
