I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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