I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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