I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
