Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
