you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
