Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
