I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
