Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
