Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
