Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
