He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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