i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So many bounce houses so little time
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Randomize
