My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
