'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
