Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
