They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
